today i didn't do a lot of the things on my list. in fact, the only thing on the list i did accomplish was number twelve. today i appreciated a moment and, hours later, it feels pretty good.
instead of drowning in how exhausted and out of my element i was feeling, taking a second to be content felt good, and it felt even better when the sense of "how nice was that" carried on for hours. i don't expect it to work every day, but there might be something to this whole 'gratitude' thing.
the other thing i did today left me feeling a little bit less zen and content. this project - this change - has been sloshing around in my head for months...since the phrase "today i will be happier than a bird with a french fry" got stuck in my head for the first time, maybe even since the first time katie leveled me at a bar by asking "but you're happy, aren't you?" today though, today was the first time i took the chance and let someone else in. so maybe, just maybe, i should have added "let people in" to my little list and then i would be able to check two things off. today i invited the other half to participate and, for me, that's scary because, and not to give too much credit to my therapist, i wait for the day i'm going to come home to no one. hours later and, with no response at all, i guess all i can really hope for is that he didn't notice - otherwise, who am i going to kiss at red lights?
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